Expectations? Burden?

Irritated, mad, anxious, nervous, stressed, frustrated (you may add more)! Every time you fail to fulfill an expectation, you feel either of these or all of these. And mind you these expectations which you die to fulfill, most of the times come from your loved ones or people close to you. Sometimes it is you – yourself expecting so many things.

So, the root cause of above mentioned mental states is expectations. Is it? May be or maybe not! Have you ever thought about it? It is not the expectations per se, it the burden/fear of inability to fulfill those expectations which makes you go mad every time you are short to fulfill those.

For example, if you take up an exam – you are “expected” to work hard and clear it. So is it really that burden to accomplish this expectation to “pass” or fear of failure to fulfill that expectation (not the thought of actual failing the exam) which drives you nuts?

Another example – You are assigned with the new task at your job. The thought that you will never again get a chance on the new task if you fail at it scares you more than inability to complete that task on time. May be because of this your boss, your colleagues will laugh at you, doubt your abilities, do back-bitching, never assign a good work to you, dim chances of promotion and what not – this precisely scares you more. It is the performance pressure and more importantly burden to fulfill the expectation.

Same applies to the personal life as well. All the time we are “expected” to do something, to become something – as a kid you are expected to study hard and get good grades; when you grow up you are expected to get a decent job; then you are expected to have (much celebrated) “stability” in life. And if there is even slightest change in this timeline – you are gone. Everyone at some point of time in their lives have to succumb to that disease of “Kya kehenge log”! (Worst of all the burdens)

But why should one carry this baggage of expectations in wonderful journey of life? These expectations lead to sorrow, that’s what Buddha said. It is fear of getting into that sorrow that frustrates you more. This fear or the fear of failing at fulfilling the expectations along with too much of dwelling in future thinking about the outcome/consequences add more burden than the expectations per se.

What can be done about it? Answer may be cliché, but being in “present” can help. You cannot reverse “past” so there is no point in going back. “Future” can be as desired, however, for that capital is the “present” itself. And seriously easier said than done, it is difficult to be in “present”. For that, one has to work consciously and practice mindfulness. Meditation works too. Honestly, I am no expert to say all this – whatever said is based on learning and experience. It is not that I succeed each day in this; however, you have to keep going despite all possible difficulties.

All fine, but what about expectations and its tag-along burden? For this, as of, I figured out that you are just another living creature on this planet. You are no God or whatever the mighty force. Practically, it is not possible to fulfill all the expectations from all including you. So you need to take a chill-pill. Besides, one also needs to stop expecting from others as well - because of these very expectations we start taking people for granted.

Also, instead of unnecessary futurist thoughts – try to focus on today. Take each day at a time. Try to live it to the fullest. Be in the moment. Seize the moment. Honestly, dwelling in “if-buts” of past or future are not that helpful. Better replace these thoughts with practical ones. One needs to nurture their mind with good things around.

Life is already full of difficulties. Why to make it more complicated by getting irritated, mad, anxious, nervous, stressed, frustrated or depressed. Among very few things, “mental state” is the one which is in our control, better be carefree and bother less! Relax, you don't own all the burden. Peace Out!