Yesterday I received a text from one of my friend that said "Sad fact of life :- you can run miles for your people and they are like "did I ask you to run for me?" True and relatable, I said.
It is so true that some people do take you for granted. So much so that they cease to be grateful. Moreover, they are gripped by the sense of entitlement. It is then that they expect you to do things, despite how much taxing it may get for you.
Just to catch up with that person for 5 minutes, you plan so much. Sacrifice your sleep, get up early, skip breakfast, lie to your parents and what not. And after this, during that 5 minutes meet, that person pours out rant on you. Treats you like you are unimportant, as if you are a garbage bin, as if you have to be there when they want, like its your prime and foremost purpose of your life. When you express, this person mocks you for being sensitive, invalidates your emotions by saying 'its OK. It happens. Move on'...
This makes you question yourself. You doubt your own feelings, your own thoughts. And whenever you try to open and tell what all you are going through or what all you did for that person, you are replied with 'Did I ask you to do so?' More hurtful is 'So what?' 'If you wanted to boast what you did, why did you do it in first place?'
Your heart is shattered to pieces especially when such person is from your close circle or so-called support system. It can be your friend, spouse, love-interest, parents, siblings, kids...It feels like someone has stabbed you in heart. This happens because you never had expected this person to say or behave or reciprocate like this. It is like a slap on your face. You are stunned, shocked and it is hard for you to process the reality. It is true, words are powerful than actual weapon..
You bleed but no ones sees it and therefore healing takes time. You start doubting yourself that, was this person really worth investing your emotions and time? You were always there for them at a drop of a hat. And you do this out of pure love. And yes it is 'your' fault for loving and having expectations. And it is your fault for running behind wrong people.
Better run behind your own well-being. Invest in yourself in your own emotional, physical and mental health. No doubt we are social beings and need other humans for our own physical, mental and emotional needs, but you got to set some healthy boundaries. You need to speak up. Don't allow anyone to treat you badly or as if you are a trash bag to puke in. Don't allow people howsoever close they be, to take you for granted. You too should not take anyone for granted. Respect yourself, respect one's time. Be strong, hold no grudges, learn and move on!
